Rejected at the Gates of Hell

 

A stranger stood at the Gates of hell, And the Devil himself answered the bell.

He looked him over from head to toe, And said: My friend, I'd like to know

What you have done in the line of sin, To entitle you to come within?

Then Franklin D, with his usual guile, Stepped forth with his toothy smile and said:

"When I took charge in '33, A nations faith was mine," said he

"I promised them this and I promised them that, And I calmed them down with a fireside chat.

I spent their money on fishing trips, And fished from the decks of their battleships.

I gave them jobs in the WPA, Then raised their taxes and took it away.

I raised their wages and closed their shops, I killed their pigs and buried their crops

I double-crossed both old and young, And still the folks my praises sung.

I brought back beer, and what do you think? I taxed it so high they couldn't drink.

I furnished 'em money with Government loans, When they missed a payment I took their homes.

When I wanted to punish the folks, you know, I'd put my wife on the radio.

I paid them to let their farms lie still, And imported foodstuffs from Brazil.

I curtailed crops when I felt real mean, And shipped in crops from the Argentine.

When they started to worry, stew and fret, I got them to chant the alphabet

With the AAA and the NLB, The WPA and the CCC.

With these many units I got their goats, And still I crammed it down their throats.

My workers worked with the speed of snails, While the taxpayers chewed their fingernails.

When the organization needed dough, I closed their plants with the CIO.

I ruined jobs, I ruined health, And I put the screws on the rich man's wealth.

And some who couldn't stand the gaff, Would call on me and how I'd laugh.

When they got too strong on certain things, I'd pack and head for "Ole Warm Springs."

I ruined their country, their homes and then, I placed the blame on "Nine Old Men."

Now Franklin talked both long and loud, And the devil stood and his head he bowed.

At last he said: "Lets make it clear, You'll have to move, you can't stay here

For once you mingle with this mob, I'll have to find myself a job."

- anonymous

Read what FDR said as governor of New York before he became the NEW DEAL 'Savior.' Click here